Once again, this is an extraordinary blog entry. They say that the three biggest traumas we experience in our lives are – when we lose someone close to us, we lose our jobs, or we are left by someone.
Just as I have had my share of such experiences, I am sure that one or more of these has also happened to you. I could say that it is unfortunate, but now I see, think and feel that nothing happens without a reason. In the big puzzle – which is itself my life – each and every piece slowly starts to fall into place and gains meaning. I don’t deny that it has been difficult to get back up again after each painful experience and go on, but you know that even an acorn is first kicked around on the ground before it is stomped into the soil to turn into a beautiful and wise oak tree.
This weekend we are lighting candles for those who are no longer with us in the physical world. Light a candle for yourselves as well and forgive yourselves if you have been impatient recently; if you haven’t said “I love you”; if you didn’t have time for one last hug; if you didn’t…Forgiveness and mercy belongs to you and to me as well. <3
Sándor Reményik – Mercy
First you cry.
Then you curse.
Then you pray
Then you break your back
To muster up all your remaining strength.
With besieging will you want –
And you bang your head till it bleeds
On the unyielding wall of the impossible.
Then you feel faint.
And when you recover, you start it all over again.
Finally, in a dull daze,
Without a word or thought
You say to yourself: it doesn’t matter, it’s all for nothing:
From the prison of the wretched day-to-day greyness,
Sin, illness, and misery
There is no, no escape!
And then – by itself - the sky opens,
Not by curse or prayer,
Unnecessarily besieged by
Force, will, doubt, regret.
And then by itself the sky opens,
A tiny star walks towards you,
And with a kind smile, it comes so close
That you think: it will fall into your hand.
Then – by itself – the thunder storm passes,
Then – by itself – everything goes silent,
Then – by itself – hope is reawakened.
Just by itself – fresh fruit grows
On all the golden branches of your dream trees.
This by itself: this is Mercy.
(Translated by Susanne Kovács and me)