Parents and children 4.

Parents and children 4.

After my last blog entry, the question arose in some of you as to whether or not we or I knew what the best path was for our or my children? My answer to this question will surely be surprising – I didn’t necessarily know at the time. Whether or not the chosen path was truly better, will only be revealed approximately 20 years after birth. Just among us, I wouldn’t wish the adolescence that I had to endure, on my worst enemy. But I am really happy with the end result. :o)

However, until we get to this point – even if it sounds strange – we often have to listen to our gut instinct.

I found and still find two things to be crucial – one of them is love and the other is attention. In his book “Soul Gnawers” Péter Popper says that just because a someone is the mother or father of a child doesn’t mean that he/she has to love them.

For me this meant and to this day means that:

  • it is not enough to love, but you have to do something for your child’s love.
  • it is not enough to love the child, we have to teach him/her to accept that love and to show love to others.
  • this love will help us get through the most difficult days of lives. (Believe me – if we look back on their adolescence, well...we had enough…:o)).
  • if I love my child, I am able to pay attention to him/her.
  • if I pay attention to him/her, I can understand what he/she is desires even without words.
  • if I pay attention to him/her, he/she will pay attention to me.

Last but not least – it will surely sound unbelievable, but – while our kids are searching for their boundaries and limits, they are expecting us to show them to them, in a loving way!

In this way we create for them the harmonic future of a well-balanced man and/or woman!

Chin up people! Based on my own experience, it is nothing other than the board game “who laughs last?” in which the main aspect is patience. It is a great challenge in the hectic world of the 21st century, isn’t it?