Jurányi Lilla’s Linkedin webpage blog opinion about adolescence, which I am very grateful for, inspired me to go a little further.
I finished my blog entry with the statement that we parents – at the end of a difficult day SHOULD NOT forget to open a bottle of fine wine and discuss the daily events with our partner and definitely SHOULD NOT forget to laugh! Lilla continued this by saying – I would like to quote her for those who did not have a chance to read it (of course with Lilla’s permission and her modifications :o)) – that “This is so very true. Especially when the parents are the ones who receive all the “goodies” from their children because they can let out all their frustrations and uncertainties mostly at home. For this exact reason it is important that parents can escape from time to time, to be themselves together a little bit, or with their friends for their own pleasure. That re-energizes them in order to be able to once again manage the challenges at home. It takes 18-20 years with small variances and then they will find out if they did it right or not...”
The fire must be kept alive as it won’t burn by itself, it goes out. Why am I writing this? When our children are born, we think that each and every minute of our day must be about them. We are ready to put them ahead of everybody and everything else. Please do not misunderstand me, kids are very important but it can happen that we wake up one day to discover that we are living only in a community based on economic interests with the guy we once fell in love with. Moreover, we start to cling extremely to our kids because not only we are very afraid but we are petrified that we will remain together alone with the guy we thought it would be nice to grow old with.
So, what is the biggest danger? If love, affection and attending to each other leaves the marital relationship, our kids will learn that this is normal for a man and a woman if they live together for many years.
Believe me children can handle much more than we give them credit for. In fact, even if it sounds strange, it is a joy and happiness for them if two well-balanced adults, hand in hand hold their ground when they are living their most outrageous teenage phase.
Dear Parents – please do not spare the time and do not look for excuses! Take time with each other a couple of times a year! Escape once or twice for a few days to re-energize and to keep the fire burning. The fire should burn even as the years go by and even in the face of the greatest difficulties.
And in the end, what is the special reward? The moment when we feel that our kids are ready to start their own lives! When this moment arrives, we have only one task left – we have to really let them go with our utmost love! We have to do this even if it is not easy because the truth is that we raise our children not for ourselves but for them in order to be able to find their own place in life and so we can be proud of them. :o)
p.s.: My dear OC, thanks a lot for all of the journeys that made life easier and happier :o) <3
